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In that spirit, last year the Calendar Sub-committee decided to move the boundaries even further and for the first time produced a Spanking Calendar. It was a runaway success and we had to order several reprints to satisfy demand. Building on our success it has been decided to repeat the exercise. At this stage I would like to call upon Miss Hermione Jones, The chair of the Calendar sub-committee to give us an update of progress on this year’s production. Miss Jones, if you please.’Miss Jones a retired librarian, clad in country tweeds with a deer antler brooch in her lapel rose unsteadily to her feet.‘Thank you Madam Chairman, ladies. I am pleased to be able to tell you that January to July is in the can, as those in the film-making business might say.’ She smiled, pleased with her own little quip. ‘I will be requiring more volunteers for August to December. Once again we have been fortunate to secure the services of Colonel Bagshotte to take on the role of spanker. He and Mrs. Took some real lurid photos to send her rich daddy. Said she…”Those stories weren’t the worst of it. I never really cared what monster I was painted as. I didn’t deserve much sympathy. I was a monster. Damn right. Maybe I was just a weak-willed, self-destructive one. But a monster’s a monster. Her? What they wrote about her. That was the tragedy.The scent of strawberry watermelon shampoo slaps me. You’re standing right there in front of me and for a second it’s her, mirrored lenses reflecting a poor excuse of a human.“Maybe I’m a bitch from the hood who doesn’t understand. Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe you’re just a mean spirited asshole.”You blow a large pink bubble till it pops loudly, pink elastic strands clinging to your lips. You peel them off slowly with a slender tongue.“I know monsters. Anyone ever lived in the Twomps knows monsters.”“Stand clear, doors opening.”You drop the sketchbooks in the seat next to mine and soften your voice.“I knew her,” you shrug, “I think. Maybe..
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